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The Protagonist
Randy
Q
Tommy / Chef Giordano (voice)
Luca Giordano
Thug
Goon
The Narrator
Delivery Driver
Officer Randall "Pink" Floyd
Cyclops
Paul
News Reporter
Giordano's Employee (voice)
Dinkoism Leader (voice)
Dinko (voice)
Director of Photography
Editorial Staff
Director
Editor
Writer
